Story Time

I was in Southeast Asia for five weeks. The time frame is too long for me to write about in my normal way. I need to write about just the specific events, which sounds easy enough. The only problem is I cannot write that way. I don't know why. I'm going to write a fictional journal based on some of my stories/experiences.

Day 1

Flying is not much fun, period. Flying to the other side of the world, across the Pacific, across 12 time zones is going to be dreadful. I'm standing in an international "que" in the Big D. From the city of fountains to Dallas, Texas, took two hours, now I have a three hour layover here in George Bush's state. Big must be the motto of Texas, because they have big stadiums, big trucks, and BIG people. "Everything is bigger in Texas." Observing obscenely obese people standing stationary on moving walkways with high fructose corn syrup pumping through their veins, one hand holding a soda the other candy as if they're at the movies. This cringing sight will make you want to get the hell out of Texas. Yet, as far as my journey goes, the bigness of Dallas is perfect, after all this is the biggest trip of my life.

Traveling in a plane from Dallas to Bangkok, Thailand will be awful, and there's just no way around it. 18 and a half hours spent on a plane with crying babies, sniffling ill, and complainers does not make for an enjoyable day. My only chance for salvation happens to be the Nyquil pills in my pocket. I hope the six pills I popped do the trick. I already missed out on the airline carrier since I'm flying American. American Airlines home of the most 50 year old washed up, working women in the world. These women literally hate stewarding, but are still there thanks to unions and other "rights" supplied to them by "progressive" thinkers. 45 year old men can thank those progressive thinkers as well. These aren't my ideal flight attendants. That certainly includes Thor, a gay man about the age of 50 who was just a little too friendly if you catch my drift.

These were not the faces of American Airlines in the 50's or 60's, and these are not the faces of the airline carriers occupying Asia. I'd do anything to fly Korean Air and not just for the free booze they provide. The stewardesses are beautiful, gracious, caring, and not a day older than 35. Although, Asians age well, so they could be much older. Oh well, American Airlines be damned, I'll be on the beautiful beaches of Thailand soon enough.

Entry Part Two Day 1

Despite six usually knock me on my ass pills, no crying babies, a dark, quiet cabin, and a small passenger sound asleep next to me I still can't sleep. Oh, it's so frustrating. The excitement of my future undertakings are at epic proportions. I want to do it all: eat delicious, fresh food right from a street vendor, play sand volleyball on some of God's best beaches, chat/drink with people from all over the world, seek out hidden, off the map tourist treasures, head to the cheesiest tourist attractions, and ride an elephant. I've wanted to ride an elephant my whole life. This will be the holy grail of my vacation. With five weeks at my disposal dispersed amongst only two countries, I should have ample time to accomplish that feet.

For the past three months, I've lived at home, with my parents, with no car, no phone, no bed, and no life. I'm ready for adventure. I'm ready for freedom. I'm ready for Asia.