22 hours of Travel

I don't mind travelling on airplanes; it does not bother me at all. At least that's what I thought. 22 hours of flying in the course of 36 hours can make you change your mind. Anyways, I read an article on Continental's executive chef. He is renowned around the world and has worked in some of the finest hotels in all of Europe. He lives in Houston and I think he has life figured out. Lets think about this for a second, he is a chef for an airline company! Here is an example of a decision he has to make, "This was a particularly good year for the peanut harvest, they are nice and crunchy. We should double the order."*

*I'll tell you what, peanuts on an airplane are the best peanuts I have ever tasted. I get pumped up for them. I always want to ask for more but end up biting my tongue. It could be the altitude or maybe the small portions that don't burn me out, but I love them. Come to think of it, everything on an airplane tastes better. I hate pretzels, but I'll scarf them down at 35,000 feet. I am never as excited anywhere else, if someone offers me a coke.


Because I don't have any in flight stories worth a damn*, I am going to list the food we ate while on board for 22 hours. Peanuts, a couple of salads, soggy microwaved pizza, a soggy turkey wrap, a real good chicken pasta, and another banal sandwich. Tell me chef, what experience do you need to come up with these items. They are all microwaved! Yet I could not eat these items fast enough. McDonald's has recently hired a culinary expert, he is behind the select salads, chicken sandwiches, parfaits, and other healthy items. I get his job. He has a plethora off ingredients and a KITCHEN to serve his creations out of. I would not be surprised if planes do have kitchens, but I have never seen one. So this has to be in the top five for best job for the level of difficulty, right?

*screaming babies, lack of sleep, ear's popping, the usual.

Here's the List:
1. 1st base coach
I still don't know what role they really have except to be male cheerleaders. They relay signs from other coaches that the players can see for themselves. They yell "GET BACK!" as players are already diving back to the base. They dodge foul balls nicely, but that is not an excuse for a job. They get paid to hang out with major leaguers. Sign me up.
2. Weatherman in San Diego
The weather is the same all year round. "70 degrees and sunny" is the only lone you need to know. Living there would be nice too.
3. Tom Cruises PR rep
"don't jump on couches, don't talk about Scientology, don't talk about relationships, don't speak." That's the extent of that job. This job could be volatile though, and the expected duration would be short.
4. Airline Chef
What an easy job. I am guessing a lot of time is devoted to first class, but I am not scared. One hour a week watching the Food Network will keep my skills up to par.
5. Senator or Representative of Guam
This is here because I am lazy and was struggling to come up with another idea. But I like it. You work for the government, which is notoriously easy. Your vote does not count in the senate, but you still get to go to Washington. There is only 150,000 on the island. I'll take it.


Anybody have any good choices?? This might let me know if I have an audience out there. I probably do not.