Classroom Adventures Part 1

My school (I think company is actually the better word to use here) has a policy; no cell-phones in the classroom. It's not hard to imagine the majority of 13 to 14 year old American teens owning cell-phones, but in Korea, the percentage has to be 95%! Every child has one and often has a backup. Before every class, teachers are required to pass around a cell phone collection bucket. I'd say only half the students put their phones in the basket, which is fine by me, as long as I don't see the phones during my class.

Occasionally, I do see phones in class, and I have developed a fun way to cope with renegade students who decide to text their crushes, browse the web, or play games on their phones. I offer them this deal: "Okay, Jenny* I'll offer you a deal, even though I should keep this phone for one week considering you broke school rules and my classroom rules. You can come by tomorrow and get your phone, or you could play me in rock, paper, scissors. If you beat me in rock, paper, scissors, then I'll let you have your phone back today, but if I beat you I get to keep your phone for one extra day. What do you want to do?"

*Random knowledge: The majority of cell phone abusers in the classroom are female. Does that come as a surprise to you? I would have thought it would be the rebel males. Jenny is by far the most popular English name chosen by female Korean students. The most popular name chosen by boys, by the way, has to be John. I have had three John's in one class before, which is pretty remarkable considering there are usually only 15 people per class, so roughly one third of the boys in that class were named John. I called one John, one Johnny, and the other boy John John.

Rock, paper, scissors is called gawi, bawi, bo. I should have an entire post dedicated to the phenomena that is gawi, bawi, bo. Let's just say they play it all the time. I mean, I think every decision is made by playing this game. Examples:

~Simple Decisions, (based on daily scenarios that take place while trying to figure the labyrinth of underground routes that is Seoul Metro Subway)

Man: I think we should take the train to Wangsimni and transfer to the two line down to Gangnam. We'll only have one transfer this way, which will save us both time and energy.
Man 2: Yes, that's true. But we could take the train to Gunja transfer to the seven line and then transfer at Konkuk University on to the two line. We'll have about three less stops this way but 2 transfers...
Man: Gawi, bawi, bo.
Man 2: Fine.

Complex Decisions (based on a made up but theoretically possible scenario)
CEO Samsung: With exports at an all-time record, let's buy this American micro-processing firm. We'll cut down on competition and acquire a potential cash cow.
Chairmen of the Board: Are you crazy? In this volatile economic environment, you want to buy a firm?
CEO: Gawi, bawi, bo.
COB: Fine.

Life Changing Decisions
Woman: I want to have a baby.
Man: I want to shit gold.
Woman: Gawi, bawi, bo.
Man: Fine.

I could go on, but judging by the raunchiness of that last one I think it's time to move on...

At this point, the classroom goes crazy, because every student knows the gravity of the upcoming situation. One day without their cell phones is a monumental loss, right up there with losing Goldie their pet gold fish. But two days, OMG! Call the ambulance we got an emergency! The boys have their fists in their hands before I've even finished my proposal, ready to throw. The girls are much more deliberate. You can actually see the wheels cranking. They go through the odds, and they weigh the pros and cons of the situation. The risk adverse girls take their lumps, and will come collect their phones the following day. But most of them play, because* they love the game. And most of the time they win, I'm only batting about .300 in winning percentage. A good number for batting average in baseball, but a poor percentage in rock, paper, scissors. If I lose, the majority of the children all gasp. They want the student to go phoneless for two days. If I win, then the place erupts with cheers!

As I finished writing because, a student just came up to me to collect her phone. She lost the game, and I got her phone for two days. After receiving her phone, she throw her hands up in the air in rejoice.

-Teaching Style
Our new books are long-winded, and I find myself having trouble to get through my lesson plans. To get through the vast amounts of exercises, I have to lecture the entire time. I have no time for disciplining, so I've become a pretty strict teacher. I implement a two strike system, the kids only have one warning. That's my rule anyway. Unfortunately, it's a lot harder for me to enforce it, and I'm beginning to realize I might be a pushover when it comes to parenting.*

*There has to be a thousand parallels between teaching and parenting.

Because the text books are dense, I usually assign more homework for them to complete to keep up with the syllabus. I have become that teacher. The one that assigns a lot of homework, keeps horeseplay to a minimum, and assigns detentions regularly, and I love it.