The Address

I know October is around the corner and that means football, brisk winds, leaves changing colors, Halloween, and my Birthday! So in case anybody wants to send me anything here is my address:

Olympiad/OLA
Seoul South Korea 130-838
Dongdaemun Jangan4dong 295-5 6FL

Of course you don't have to send anything for my birthday, but there it is if you want to.

The streets of Seoul

Here you go, this just proves that streets of Seoul are littered with these damn mopeds! Read this article.

I guess I am a liar

I am sufferring from writer's block. I have too much time on my hands. I am bored out of my mind. I have started writing about like three different topics before throwing them away. I need help. E-mail me any questions you might have, or any experiences you might want me to talk about.

I've got a lot of time

This is going to be my forum for the next couple of weeks. The topics will have no particular order just like my writing style. I have a lot of free time on my, hands because I don't have to teach a class for the next two weeks. My students are preparing for a standardized test to gain admittance into high schools. This is similar to our process of getting into college, so the better score a student gets equals a better school. These are very important tests. I have been given "busy work" tasks of coming up with names for grade levels (this takes 30 minutes) and writing a couple of books over reading comprehension. This sounds challenging, but it is really simple. I have a format to follow, and I don't have to write the passages, just questions over the passages. Expect numerous posts over the next couple of weeks.

Here is a great quote I found today while perusing the Internet:

Those who understand interest, collect it; those who don't, pay it. - Albert Einstein

Some of the people I have met over here came to Korean in an attempt to pay off credit card debt. Meg and I both have some school loans to pay off, but I can not imagine how twenty year old somethings amass so much credit card debt.

Maybe it is the "monkey see, monkey do" effect, because the previous generations are bogged down with credit card debt. A house, three cars, a house at the Ozarks, a boat, and everything else under the sun is the kind of actions adults take, including many of our parents, which isn't the best role model for younger generations to follow. It seems like our government is a great example! Maybe it is the relative lack of education we received on the subject. It seems like the average American is clueless. I mean, I don't understand deleveraging and swaps and ratio leverages and derivatives and the majority of financial lingo tossed around during the past couple weeks, but I know that if I spend more than I make, then I'm in the red. With that in mind, many of these twenty year olds would not have any debt if they just curbed their spending habits.

I'm not an expert, and I have yet to live in a challenging situation where I might be forced to take on debt. Take this with a grain of salt from a novice who is just trying to pass some time, but the root of America's financial problems can be traced back to people living beyond their means.


Here is a Ron Paul video dealing with America's recent financial woes. My friend Derek brought this to my attention via Facebook.

Density, Sidewaks, and the Perils of Both

The modern world in Asia is as dense with people as my mom’s former garden with weeds. The buildings are tall advertisements for Korean conglomerate companies, with their logos stamped on all corners reading Hyundai, Lotte, Samsung, and LG among others, begging the numerous consumers on the city streets to remember their favorite company. The cookie cutter skyscrapers house over 20 million people. About 60 years ago, the city I’m living in was mere rumble. How does a city rise from the ashes to become the world’s second largest city and the most “wired” city in the world? Industrialization has to be the only answer; Korea is China’s case study on growth and the consequences of such rapid growth.

Amongst the thick air, the fast culture, and a country fighting with problems of reunification and dependence to the United States lies a 22 year old who is mad. YES, I’m angry. The time is now, where I stand up and let my RAGE out. In the states, there is an epidemic called road rage. Everyone of course is familiar with this; a feeling washes over the driver like someone pointing out XYZ, warm blood travels throughout the body as mounting frustration follows closely behind. The driver is not in control during rush hour, and this leads to acts of fruitless hostility towards others on the crazy road of modernity. Slow drivers in fast lanes, fast drivers in slow lanes, and the normal drivers caught in the middle trying to navigate the chasm between the polar extremes.

I don’t have a vehicle in Korea, and I love it. Just as my pet peeves with traffic lights has been replaced by waiting for elevators, so too has road rage. In Korea, I have dubbed an epidemic, which I call “Sidewalk Rage” Seoul is a fast paced environment, much like every other big city in the world. Lost in all this hustle and bustle is me. I wake up at 2:00 in the afternoon every day, and I don’t go to sleep until like 4:00 at night, give or take two hours. College was not the real world, and this certainly is not either. I’m never in a hurry, and this is a direct conflict with the swift Koreans.

Here is a common example: Meg and I will be walking down the road and an on comer will be walking toward us heading the opposite way. The sidewalks are fairly large, and there is ample room for the misguided pedestrian to easily avoid us, yet to my continuing surprise they come at us like a heat seeking missile after an M-I-G. We are doing are part by picking a side and moving towards it by an easy three feet. Still here is a Korean heading over towards us! What are you doing, are you trying to send a message? I just don’t get it.

Then there are the slow walkers busy watching TV on their cell phones, texting their crushes, or innocently day dreaming about what food they want to eat with their kimchi tonight. I’m a slow walker sure, but these walkers are S-L-O-W walkers. Getting around the slow walkers can be tricky with all the fast walkers swirling around.

Slow walkers and fast walkers are difficult to manage, but it pales in comparison to the traffic. Yes, there is traffic on the sidewalks of Seoul. Parking lots must be hard to come by, so if a driver needs to get to the bank, then that driver will just park on the sidewalk near the bank. It’s maddening. These drivers will cut you off on the SIDEWALK! My friend Doug was almost hit a couple of weeks ago. And the damn mopeds!!! Oh, man the mopeds piss me off! They are ziggin and a zagging through the people like professional slalom skiers. These moped drivers are usually delivery men of pizzas and other foods. They drive on the roads, and if a red light comes up they just hoop on the sidewalk like it’s I-435. I’m not normally a violent man, but I want to drop an elbow on these drivers on a consistent basis. I had a dream where I was the frog in “Frogger.” Instead of a street, I was trying to get from point A to point B on the sidewalk. You already know my obstacles, and I couldn't even get past level 1. So in this age of speed, remember to SLOW DOWN, besides you’ll live longer.

Links and other Randomness

Al Davis: The Most Frightening Man in Professional Sports


Whenever you have a bad day at the office, think to yourself, "It could be worse, I could be working for this man."

Al Davis is nuts. Lane Kiffin's reaction is priceless, just laugh it off, Lane. He looks like a cross between a very old pirate and a very old snapping turtle. Or just really old ________.


Here is a clip from a Korean TV show. I know my reaction would be the same or worse.

Here are some more Asian pranks. The emu is classic, because every man has had that sensation wash over them that someone is directly behind them starring at the goods. What a scary sight that an emu would make. Here is another one. I like the last reaction the best. Finally, here is one of the classic pranks from America.



Have any women ever thought to themselves, "I just wish I could pee standing up." I know if I was a woman, I would experience a little envy going into a disgusting Johnny on the Spot while tailgating for an MU football game, of course while anticipating another dominating victory. Well, those crazy Japanese have caught on to this market and are selling a peeing video game.

The user gets to feel the pleasure of standing while going to the bathroom, while wearing a strap on appendage equipped with a phallic like controller. The future is coming way to fast and I know this because the Japanese are selling virtual reality peeing games!

Bush praises South Korea, rebukes NorthStory Highlights

Just click the title. I have seen North Korea in the news lately, most stories are related to Kim Jong Il's health. The part of this story I like the most is that North Korea has 11,000 thousand rockets aimed at the Korean capital. There's nothing like looking down the barrel of a gun, happened to be held by a 5 foot maniac owning a scary track record. Pretty scary!

The John Roe Experiment

Meg and I probably spend the majority of our free time with this man right here. He plays a large part in our life over here in Korea, so I figured why not get him to speak a few words. Except for some exaggerations in the first paragraph, I think he did a wonderful job, if you can trust a guy that wears bug antennas, here it is:

A month ago Chris begs me to read his self proclaimed brilliant blog. With a fake smile, I said sure why not. Like a nagging little kid on a long car ride asking, "Are we there yet?" every five minutes, Chris asked me everyday if I had read his blog. Finally after a week, I called Zach up and asked him to give me a briefing of it, so I could pretend like I'd read it when Chris asked about it. Thinking this was sufficient enough action on my part in quenching Chris's thirst for my attention of his blog, I was dumbfounded when he asked me to provide a guest post. With a fake smile, I said sure why not (I'm like Zach at the bakery, I can't say "no"). Now I'm paying one of my fifth grade students $5 to write it for me.

In all honesty (which is overated), I have read the blog. Chris Ernest HemingDumay has done a fine job with a few exceptions. One being that he misspelled the name of my town. It's ATCHISON!! Nevertheless, I thank him for him allowing me a blog slot.

I'm not much of a blogger. Right now it's hard for me to grasp the context of my audience considering it consists of many of whom I have not met. I realized most of you probably know Zach, thus I decided to use my introduction to take a cheap shot at the "Big Guy". That was easy. The hard part is figuring out what story or topic to address first. Chris often goes off on tangents in his blog. I'll probably follow his precedent. Chris talked to me about 30 min. ago via facebook asking me if I had started writing my blog. Right now it's 4:30 am and I'm at a PC bong (computer lab that you pay $1 per hour to use). I stay up late and wake up right before work which starts at 3:00 pm for me. If I'm not out with Zach or Chris and Meghan, I often go to the PC bong because I'm computerless. I was just thinking that last night at this exact same time Chris, Meghan, Doug, and I were riding home in a taxi cab after a night of liquid refreshments arguing about which Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle was the best (in Doug's defense I believe he was passed out at this point, understandably so considering 10 min. prior he was dancing shirtless on a table in the fine Korean drinking establishment we were at). My guess is most would presumably attribute this juvenile squabble over cartoon turtles to our intoxication levels. Unfortunately, the truth lies elsewhere as evident by the fact of my conversation over the same topic with Chris earlier today. Despite both of us having accessed the condition of sobriety, we digressed right back to our night before in defending our rankings of the best Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. (Wow, a beautiful girl just walked in at 4:45 in the morning wearing a stunning dress. This only happens in Korea.) After describing all this nonsensical ninja turtle talk and seeing my future girlfriend having a seat three computers down, I think I will put my headphones on and You Tube some George Strait to set the mood. I think the song "The Chair" http://kr.youtube.com/watch?v=BhZBBM8dimQ&NR=1 is suitable for the moment.

Chris and Meghan have become great friends of mine. We have had a great amount of fun embarking on our new journey. I feel bad that Zach lives further away from us. Zach has plenty of friends in his area, but he admits their not as cool as us and wishes he was closer. We do get to see the "Big Guy" a few times a week. We all owe him a "thank you" for convincing us to take a chance on this adventure. One of the first things Chris says to me when he came to Korea was, "What the hell has Zach got Meghan and I into?" I told him that was my initial thought as well, but assured him that he would probably be pleasantly surprised. Kansas and Korea has more separating it than just 10,000 km, but it's the similarities that have made me feel at home. Almost every time I tell a Korean I'm from the USA, I notice a twinkle in his eye. He sincerely repeats, "USA very good". It's amazing how much they've assimilated to our western culture from their knowledge of our baseball teams to their love of our music. My fourth graders knew of Nat King Cole. American fourth graders don't even know of Nat King Cole (one of my favorites by the way, I think he's next on my You Tube playlist). When I go to a bar, it's more likely to be playing American music than Korean. I was at McDonalds the other day and it was playing an Eminem song (an unedited version I might add). That's a testimate to the greatness of our country. We can come over here with just a college degree and make more than a teacher back home (considering their paying for our apartment). I have to be at the school 35 hours a week, but I'm only in the classroom 14 of those hours. I may spend roughly 2 hours a week on grading and prep work and the rest of my time is spent on the internet. In other words, my job is a piece of cake. Why? Because I can speak English. That's how valuable our language is to them and this pattern is emerging all over the world. We are the most powerful country. By learning our language and culture, it gives them potential access to that power. That's why they are willing to cough up so much dough for it. Anyways, Zach has tapped into this. Chris, Meghan, and I have followed suit. Now we're all reaping the benifits.

For the record, Michelangelo is by far the best TNMT, based on his party personality and his above average video game attributes. Donatello and Leonardo are very close; Raphael isn't even in the same category. My name was thrown amongst the wall and slammed down on the dirty Korean pavement a few times, but I proably deserve it. You should of let your students write the next blog, it it will be better, just kidding. Thank You!

The Greenback

http://www.forecasts.org/won.htm

As an expate, with future aspirations of coming back to America, a lot of my salary is tied to currencies. The South Korean Won is at a four year low compared to the dollar. The dollar has been rallying like Pete Sampras in his prime on a whole bunch of countries lately. When I was coming over here, the dollar was in an awful way, and now it seems to be strengthening.

The dollar has been a thorn in my side throughout my world travels. In Dublin, a pint of Guinness averages about 4.50 euros, so it cost me damn near seven dollars. That will curb your desire for a tasty beverage real fast! Ireland cost me so much money because the dollar was so weak compared to the Euro. I am not even going to talk about how much money our weak currency cost me in England. I will say this, "just Double it" came up often in speech, every price in England has to be doubled for the dollar to equal the pound.

Now when I am making wons, I don't need to see the dollar coming on strong. Money I send home will vary based on the currencies strength. A weak dollar is good for me. A strong won is good, and the combination of the two would be ideal. That forecast shows (I doubt it's very accurate, by the way) a rise in the dollar, which will cut into my pocketbook. I am happy for all you back home.

To the Dollar, my nemesis!

Cell Phone Power

My friend Ramsey posted this on Facebook awhile ago, and I thought I would add it here. This is just nuts! Think of what cell phones are doing to your brain, if they can do this: http://www.koreus.com/video/telephone-portable-mais-popcorn.html


Just Click the Link

Haeundae is in the Record Books

http://www.worldamazingrecords.com/2008/07/parasols-at-haeundae-set-guinness-world.html

Yes, this is the beach I was at, and I'm sure you can see why it was a tad bit scary. Where's the sand??

Just think, each umbrella costs 10 dollars to rent. That is a whole lot of dollars being thrown around on that beach. That is the density I deal with on a consistent basis. The usual thought process is that people go to beaches to relax and get away from from everybody for a while. Not in Korea!

The Pizza

http://joeposnanski.com/JoeBlog/2008/09/08/pizza-pizza/

Joe is one of my heroes; he has more wit in one of his sentences, then I could ever accomplish in a lifetime of writing. He is a wordsmith. His latest post is on pizza, and pizza has been on my mind for a while, here in Korea.

It's not that Korea doesn't have pizza, because they have thousands of pizza restaurants. It's just that they have really awful, over priced pizza. One of the most popular Korean pizza chains is called Mr. Pizza. Mr. Pizza offers overpriced small pizzas. Picture a small pizza at a Pizza Hut, then charge 25 dollars for it! I love pizza, and I don't mind paying a good amount of money for food I love, yet the issue is the principal of the matter. I can't pay 25 dollars for a pizza that is not as good as a five dollar "doughy crust" Little Cesar pizza. I can't enjoy it knowing that it is both awful and expensive.

I'm in the branching out phase now. Meg and I a couple of days ago went and tried another type of pizza from a different place. We had a supreme pizza, but I hesitate to call this a pizza because there was no sauce. It was cheese, toppings, and crust. It was horrible. Posnanski asked the question, "What makes a pizza, a pizza?" After another horrible pizza experience in Korea, I am in the unique position to confirm that a pizza starts with a good sauce. The sauce is what makes a pizza pie truly irresistible. Sure you need good toppings, good cheese, and a nice crust that is neither to doughy nor too crisp, but the sauce is the single most important ingredient.

I will find a good pizza in Korea, this is my mission. I have to disagree with Posnanski on Saint Louis style pizza. I love a good thin crust pizza from IMO's. It is my favorite pizza because... THE SAUCE! A thin crust also allows good toppings a chance to shine. They aren't swallowed up in sea of bread. I dislike most things that come out of St. Louis, (especially my girlfriend-zing) so that is a pretty good recommendation for STL pizza.*

*I don't like Saint Louis because I am very much a Kansas City guy. Kansas City is outnumbered on Mizzou's campus, and I found myself having to stick up for my city often. This only increased my passion for KC as well as intensifying my resentment for the bigger and arguably better city of Saint Louis. There is that history, which all probably boils down to a little bit of jealousy.

While we're on food topics, I may as well talk about the fried chicken over here. As I am typing this, my inquisitive mind is wondering whether you think the Fried Chicken is good or bad in Korea. It is amazing. Many of these HOF's (basically a Korean style pub) serve fried chicken. It is more or less the fish and chips of Korea. Many of these HOF's advertise chicken and beer, the two seem to go hand in hand no matter where you are in the world. After all, who doesn't like fried chicken?

The Mistakes

The Korean alphabet is very different than the Latin alphabet. They have sounds that are very distinct and alien to me. The same can be said about our alphabet to them.

Common Mistakes: B vs. P
During one particular lesson, we were leaning about honey bees. I had to continuously emphasize the B, because they were saying "honey pees". When you think about it, the b and p are extremely close to sounding the same. A native speaker doesn't realize the similarity, but it's there. For instance, the city named Busan or Pusan. I still don't know if it is a B or a P. V is commonly mispronounced as well. They can make the distinction usually in the alphabet, but not when naturally speaking.

F vs. P
For can come out "pour" or peel is pronounced "feel", I don't have an explanation on this one. "I love feeling a nice pair of melons."

J or Ch vs. Z
Korean speakers pronounce Z like a j or Ch. So, I had one class say Zach, and they pronounced "Jack." I said, "Zach, Zach, Zach" and they fired back Jack three times. The word "pizza" is pronounced "peach-eu." When I am with Zach and Koreans at the same time, I have to call him Jack. It's pretty amusing.


S
They simply don't add S. They just skip the plural part of words. S has a lot of weight in the English language, and they skip right over it when speaking and writing. Getting back to "peas", well pee is very different than peas, obviously. "The pea I had this morning was is exactly what I needed. I love pea in the morning. " No 's' can really change the meaning of a sentence. Because that sentence can quickly become a sentence about urine.

L vs R
I have truly heard this before, "I had lice for lunch." The first time I heard that came as a shock. The thought of someone eating lice is gross. I am scared of lice from my elementary school days. You could be the coolest kid in school one day, and in the blink of an eye the most hated man on campus. The dirtiest kid always was the first one to come down with the parasite. Luckily, I never did have a run in the little critter, but I saw what happened to those that did. Social suicide. This is Korea tough, and they sell cocooned caterpillars on the street, as if it's candy! I wasn't going to put lice past them. By the third time I heard it, I said "what?" Then after the tenth time I heard them say it, I figured that what they really meant to say was rice. Oh, thank you Missouri for giving me the uncanny ability to safely assume lice is really rice. I'm glad all my money was put to good use.


My academy told me that these are some common mistakes, which they are because I come across them everyday. Go ahead and write any amusing sentences you can come up with using these simple mistakes, or don't because I doubt anybody would anyway. haha*

Haha- I hate haha. I hate looking at it, and I hate reading it. I especially hate typing it. It feels so cheesy, like you have to proclaim a joke. I don't think I've ever laughed at a joke followed up by haha. That being said, I used that four lettered word far too often. It isn't even a word! It isn't even funny under the guise of an English accent, yes it is that bad if it isn't funny while being said in an English accent.