The John Roe Experiment

Meg and I probably spend the majority of our free time with this man right here. He plays a large part in our life over here in Korea, so I figured why not get him to speak a few words. Except for some exaggerations in the first paragraph, I think he did a wonderful job, if you can trust a guy that wears bug antennas, here it is:

A month ago Chris begs me to read his self proclaimed brilliant blog. With a fake smile, I said sure why not. Like a nagging little kid on a long car ride asking, "Are we there yet?" every five minutes, Chris asked me everyday if I had read his blog. Finally after a week, I called Zach up and asked him to give me a briefing of it, so I could pretend like I'd read it when Chris asked about it. Thinking this was sufficient enough action on my part in quenching Chris's thirst for my attention of his blog, I was dumbfounded when he asked me to provide a guest post. With a fake smile, I said sure why not (I'm like Zach at the bakery, I can't say "no"). Now I'm paying one of my fifth grade students $5 to write it for me.

In all honesty (which is overated), I have read the blog. Chris Ernest HemingDumay has done a fine job with a few exceptions. One being that he misspelled the name of my town. It's ATCHISON!! Nevertheless, I thank him for him allowing me a blog slot.

I'm not much of a blogger. Right now it's hard for me to grasp the context of my audience considering it consists of many of whom I have not met. I realized most of you probably know Zach, thus I decided to use my introduction to take a cheap shot at the "Big Guy". That was easy. The hard part is figuring out what story or topic to address first. Chris often goes off on tangents in his blog. I'll probably follow his precedent. Chris talked to me about 30 min. ago via facebook asking me if I had started writing my blog. Right now it's 4:30 am and I'm at a PC bong (computer lab that you pay $1 per hour to use). I stay up late and wake up right before work which starts at 3:00 pm for me. If I'm not out with Zach or Chris and Meghan, I often go to the PC bong because I'm computerless. I was just thinking that last night at this exact same time Chris, Meghan, Doug, and I were riding home in a taxi cab after a night of liquid refreshments arguing about which Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle was the best (in Doug's defense I believe he was passed out at this point, understandably so considering 10 min. prior he was dancing shirtless on a table in the fine Korean drinking establishment we were at). My guess is most would presumably attribute this juvenile squabble over cartoon turtles to our intoxication levels. Unfortunately, the truth lies elsewhere as evident by the fact of my conversation over the same topic with Chris earlier today. Despite both of us having accessed the condition of sobriety, we digressed right back to our night before in defending our rankings of the best Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. (Wow, a beautiful girl just walked in at 4:45 in the morning wearing a stunning dress. This only happens in Korea.) After describing all this nonsensical ninja turtle talk and seeing my future girlfriend having a seat three computers down, I think I will put my headphones on and You Tube some George Strait to set the mood. I think the song "The Chair" http://kr.youtube.com/watch?v=BhZBBM8dimQ&NR=1 is suitable for the moment.

Chris and Meghan have become great friends of mine. We have had a great amount of fun embarking on our new journey. I feel bad that Zach lives further away from us. Zach has plenty of friends in his area, but he admits their not as cool as us and wishes he was closer. We do get to see the "Big Guy" a few times a week. We all owe him a "thank you" for convincing us to take a chance on this adventure. One of the first things Chris says to me when he came to Korea was, "What the hell has Zach got Meghan and I into?" I told him that was my initial thought as well, but assured him that he would probably be pleasantly surprised. Kansas and Korea has more separating it than just 10,000 km, but it's the similarities that have made me feel at home. Almost every time I tell a Korean I'm from the USA, I notice a twinkle in his eye. He sincerely repeats, "USA very good". It's amazing how much they've assimilated to our western culture from their knowledge of our baseball teams to their love of our music. My fourth graders knew of Nat King Cole. American fourth graders don't even know of Nat King Cole (one of my favorites by the way, I think he's next on my You Tube playlist). When I go to a bar, it's more likely to be playing American music than Korean. I was at McDonalds the other day and it was playing an Eminem song (an unedited version I might add). That's a testimate to the greatness of our country. We can come over here with just a college degree and make more than a teacher back home (considering their paying for our apartment). I have to be at the school 35 hours a week, but I'm only in the classroom 14 of those hours. I may spend roughly 2 hours a week on grading and prep work and the rest of my time is spent on the internet. In other words, my job is a piece of cake. Why? Because I can speak English. That's how valuable our language is to them and this pattern is emerging all over the world. We are the most powerful country. By learning our language and culture, it gives them potential access to that power. That's why they are willing to cough up so much dough for it. Anyways, Zach has tapped into this. Chris, Meghan, and I have followed suit. Now we're all reaping the benifits.

For the record, Michelangelo is by far the best TNMT, based on his party personality and his above average video game attributes. Donatello and Leonardo are very close; Raphael isn't even in the same category. My name was thrown amongst the wall and slammed down on the dirty Korean pavement a few times, but I proably deserve it. You should of let your students write the next blog, it it will be better, just kidding. Thank You!